My daily life has been all about fly fishing for a while. My dreams, my plans and my energy have all consisted of fly fishing. Happiness has come from every single cast and the rivers have been the road I walk. I have seen, felt and heard just for myself. But when the colors of autumn were behind and the whiteness of winter was landing on the rivers, one season of my life was getting to the end. Since that moment, everything in my world has been different. I am not living only for myself any longer. This is the time when I am two.
I know that everyone is not able to fly fish as much as I have been fishing during pregnancy. I am one of the lucky ones who have gotten quite easy with this part of life. I have only a couple of weeks left now before giving birth to my baby and I am still wearing my waders and hooking fish. From my point of view, fly fishing has been a part of why I have been so well during pregnancy. Keeping moving and outdoor life itself can help to avoid some of the pains and problems that the body is going through. But obviously, fly fishing during the pregnancy has not always been the easiest thing to do. Some days have not been good for fly fishing with this huge belly and clumsy body.
The first obstacles that I faced were continuous sickness and tiredness. I felt swollen in my body and I had a bad headache all the time. I had to focus just to stay awake while fishing, with a body that tried to force me to sleep at all hours. Once, when I was fly fishing in the middle of the backwater area in the winter time, I felt very dizzy. That was the moment when I realized that I was afraid of being in water for the first time in my life. It was not that safe to fish alone anymore like I was used to. I would have to listen to my body more seriously in the future.
After three months of pregnancy, I finally started feeling better and I could make a plan beyond one day. My mind ran fast and there were thousands of questions about what I would be able to do or not. The truth is that there are never the right answers waiting for you. You have to take every single day as a step and keep your eyes open every new morning. There were too many worries and too much brain work because of the things I couldn’t know in advance. Maybe my own mind has been the biggest limit when being pregnant. It was growing even faster than my body and sometimes all those emotional changes drove me crazy. One moment I was pissed off and a few seconds later like sunshine. Some days I just wanted to cry without any good reason. But we all have the right to this mind racing when we are pregnant, have we not?
Photo by Antti Takaniemi
Even if I had to give up with some of my fly fishing dreams and cancel a couple of great trips in this year, it was worth all the of sacrifice, for these nine months, which have been definitely the most amazing journey of my life! Honestly, fly fishing has actually never felt this good, emotional and exciting. It has been so incredible to feel the little human growing inside of me and know that he can already live the experiences through me.
Photo by Antti Takaniemi